Below is an article written for our women's ministry newsletter in June 2009.The Strength Inside of Me
The past ten weeks in the Sims’ household have been unpredictable and emotional. It is difficult to know whether to write in the past or the present tense. God is still fresh at work in our family circumstances but God has made it clear that we are supposed to be sharing this story for His glory. The strength inside of me is only strong when I allow Christ to shape my attitude.
Ten weeks ago Kyle, my husband, and I went to my routine 20 week prenatal sonogram. We were excited to find out if we were having a boy or a girl. We did not expect to find out that our baby girl was in great danger and we would have to wait the weekend to find out what was wrong. We knew that God had blessed us with our third child and we had already placed her in His hands. Now it was time to trust Him in a whole new way. Proverbs 16:9 says, “In his heart a man plans his course but the Lord determines his steps.”
The diagnosis is that she has CCAM with hydrops fetalis, which means that our baby girl has a mass on her lung taking up two-thirds of her chest cavity, pushing her heart aside, and causing swelling all over her body. Her prognosis is that she has a 5-10% chance of survival. It is an extremely rare and random condition and there is nothing I can do to help. Surgery after birth is the only treatment.
It is a struggle some days to keep from having an attitude of worry or slip into the swirling questions of “what if’s.” 2 Corinthians 10:5 speaks of “taking captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” My three year old daughter quotes Psalm 56:3, “When I am afraid, I will trust in you (God).” My four year old son quoted the words from the movie Facing the Giants when talking about the will of God. He said, “If we win, we’ll praise Him. If we lose, we’ll praise Him.” They are learning life lessons along with us.
After visiting the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit at Children’s Mercy and talking with the surgeons, I finally hit an emotional low. I knew that it was okay to grieve and that I also wasn’t in despair. “Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” James 1:2-4. We know that this story is not finished yet.
After accepting and understanding our baby’s condition, we had another adjustment in the family. Kyle’s parents came to live with us in our basement as his father is on hospice. It is the best place for them and our family right now.
We have a lot of uncertainty in our life and we have to rest in the fact that God is in control. We feel peace and comfort that can only come from the Lord. We know that God is so faithful and that His Word is truth.
Sharing our story has been a blessing. Hundreds of people have been praying for our baby and our family. Sometimes the greatest encouragement has been hearing that someone doesn’t know what to say but that they are praying.
The next appointment was quite interesting. The doctor could not measure the CCAM and the swelling was gone. She said that we were looking at a new baby. The nurse said, “I don’t know if you’re praying or what, but keep it up.” We were amazed but not surprised. It has been incredible being able to rejoice with those who have lifted us up in prayer.
Please keep praying for Lydia Joy Sims. She has 9 more weeks to heal in the womb and possibly still a surgery in her future. We are all His precious children and He knows the big picture. Trusting in Him is the only way to live in freedom.
